SeniorTruth

Question: I am almost 80 and angry – angry at my body because it can’t do what it used to do.  At one time, I was able to climb up on the kitchen counter to reach a high shelf.  I don’t do that anymore.  And, I am tired — too tired to exercise.  By the end of the day, the last thing I feel like doing is going to a gym or even walking.  Is this just fate and something I have to get used to?

Answer: You are not alone.  Fortunately, there is hope. Read more »

Today, there are almost 2 million nonagenarians in the U.S. That number is expected to reach 2.6 million in 2020 and could reach 12 million in a couple of decades.

We don’t know much about this age group.  In fact, we know more about frail older adults living in nursing homes than we do about active 90-year olds. Read more »

Question: I am feeling guilty for not being productive in retirement.  Is this just part of the retirement process?

Answer: Your question leads to a larger one.  And that is, what exactly are the expectations from someone in retirement, particularly if that someone is older?  Is this a new life stage? Read more »

Question. I was the executive director of a nonprofit organization and retired two years ago.   Since then, I have taken up photography and just love it. Yet, there are too many times when I feel guilty for not being productive.  Is this just part of the retirement process?  How do I let go of the guilt?  (I’m 68 and female.)

Answer. The operative work in your question is “productive.”

For many of us, the need to feel productive is in our DNA.  It’s part of our spiritual and psychological core and for good reason.  We have been heavily influenced by the Puritan work ethic that emphasized hard work, not to waste time and responsibility for the well-being of everyone.  This is part of our American history, culture and values.  It has worked well for us as a nation. Read more »

Question. I am 59-years old and in the process of modifying my financial plan for retirement.  I have no idea how long I will live.  How do we go about making some best guesses?  Do I base my calculations on the age of my parents who both are in their 8os?

Answer.  If we only knew our exit date, we would be the most effective planners on the planet.

A great deal of research has been conducted to predict length of life.  Studies have addressed  the role of education, lifestyle, social connections, exercise, nutrition, family history, stress, personality, current health, types of work, miles one drives and more. Read more »

Question: I have a good friend, age 70, who retired about two years ago as a dynamic international management consultant.  She was creative in so many ways – gourmet cooking, painting, writing and more.  Today, her life appears as a shell of her past.  She focuses on television and her granddaughter and sees few people. I know her life can be better.  And her creative spirit has disappeared.  Are my expectations of her unrealistic?  Is this just part of aging? Read more »

Question: I am a 65-year-old woman facing a dilemma. I have a home in the South Bay where I have lived for the past 30 years.  For a variety of reasons, I took a home equity loan which I cannot continue paying.  I have tried to re-finance my home but the bank will not do the deal unless I have a full-time job. That’s the problem. I can only get part-time work. I believe my age is the obstacle in finding that full-time position. Any suggestions?     Read more »

Dear Readers:

This week I would like to share an experience I had as the closing speaker at a 48-hour caregivers retreat.  It was sponsored by the Los Angeles Caregivers Resource Center and held at the Mary & Joseph Retreat Center in Rancho Palos Verdes. Read more »

Question: Now that I’ve turned 60, I have become more aware of the youth emphasis of television shows.  Recently, however, I’ve noticed a change.  In fact there are a few more shows that I now can relate to.  Is it my imagination or has there been a shift?  A change would be a welcome relief.      Read more »

Question: My sister, who is 64, has been taking care of her husband, a cancer patient, for several years while working 30 hours a week.  I fear she is stressed too far and nearing the end of her string and is showing it in bouts of anger followed by depression. She is aware of the problem but neither my wife nor I have a clue how to make her life more bearable.  Any suggestions? Read more »