SeniorTruth

Question: I am seeing a man who is 69 and care about him a great deal. I believe he is depressed and has been for many years. He doesn’t see it and believes therapy is useless because therapists don’t tell you what to do. He also rejects all medications. Is there any way I can influence him to get help?

Answer: It is difficult to watch someone you care about suffer from depression and not seek help when it is available. Let’s begin by discussing what we know about depression and aging. Read more »

Question: I am a 60-year-old divorced woman and full-time educator at a private school.  My salary is about to be cut in half because of the economy.  I am feeling overwhelmed not knowing the length of my current job, my current income or my retirement income. Any advice on how to mange all of this?

Answer: I and my colleague Bernice Bratter recently presented a workshop on a subject germane to your question.  The conference, “Own Your Own Power” was in Costa Mesa, California, and co-sponsored by WomanSage.  This is a non-profit, Web-based membership organization dedicated to educating, empowering and fostering mentoring relationships for women at midlife. Read more »

Question: I currently assist an 84-year old woman with early dementia. The housekeeper and I have told her repeatedly that she has an odor and needs to shower, but she refuses.  Any suggestions?

Answer: Dementia is a progressive brain disease that causes a significant deterioration of intellectual abilities. The two most common forms in older people are Alzheimer’s disease and multi-infarct dementia, sometimes called vascular dementia. This latter type of dementia is caused by reduced blood flow to part of the brain.  Both Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia are irreversible. Read more »

My 50^th high school reunion, which I attended in a small town in Pennsylvania, was a great success.

After the evening festivities, most of us could not sleep.  There was much to review and digest about our childhood and adolescent days. Our collective insomnia raised the questions: Why are reunions important?  And how do they relate to our lives today and in the future? Read more »

The California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) estimates that by the year 2030, one out of every five licensed automobile drivers will be 65 or older. Although the DMV may not discriminate against adult drivers because of age, the agency has the responsibility to make sure that all licensed drivers have the physical and mental abilities that enable them to drive safely. Read more »

My 50^th high school reunion took place in a small town in Pennsylvania.  After much consideration, I decided to attend.  If not now, when?  My initial thought was that I was too young to have graduated high school 50 years ago.  I was not alone in my thinking. Let’s talk about reunions. Read more »

Healthcare planning is a process that lets people think about the kind of care they would wish to receive should they become seriously ill or incapacitated. In California, a power of attorney for health care is the legal document that allows patients to choose who will speak for them should they be unable to speak for themselves. Unfortunately, a healthcare provider who confronts an emergency situation often lacks the time and opportunity to communicate with a terminally ill patient’s chosen spokesperson. For this reason, a new California law permits treating physicians to confer with their patients to define acceptable types of  life-sustaining treatment should a medical decision involving issues of life-support arise.

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Question: Once I retire, I want my savings to serve as my monthly income. Do you suggest I look into purchasing an annuity?

Answer: An annuity policy is a type of insurance contract that provides the insured person with periodic payments. Depending on the particular contract, payments can last a specified number of years or terminate when the insured person passes away. Although annuities may provide some people with a sense of monetary security, they seldom serve as a preferable source of income when purchased by seniors aged 65 and above.

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Question: My 80-yr. old mom asked me to take charge if she loses the ability to handle her personal affairs. To give me that kind of legal power, does she need to contact an attorney, or can she get pre-printed forms and do it herself?

Answer: Although most people are living longer lives, many are suffering from chronic illnesses or injuries that leave them unable to handle their personal affairs. A durable power of attorney for financial matters (DPAFM) is a legal document that allows people to choose who will speak for them should they become incapacitated. The person who signs the DPAFM is the “principal,” while the person chosen to act on the principal’s behalf is the “agent.”

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The California Supreme Court has made it legal for same-sex couples to marry. However, the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which specifically defines marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman, still remains in effect. This means that even though same-sex couples can now get married in California, they cannot file joint federal income tax returns, or receive spousal benefits through social security, federal employment, veterans’ affairs or other federal programs. In addressing issues of estate planning for seniors, California’s same-sex married couples are getting very different responses from state and federal laws.

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